Reminder

During the worst 13 years that I suffered with my bp2,I with hurting my loved ones mentally also hurt myself physically multiple times.The reason was clear,I wanted to gain sympathy and attention from them and in a way wanted to confuse them to rethink their stern decisions they had planned for me,a rehab. Due to the illness I use to become a monster and do wicked things during my rage, by crossing the zenith of humanity.By the time the medicines could penetrate and supplement my chemical imbalance,I use to undergo fear and guilt for what I had caused.That allowed me to punish my own self,and the sight of red gave me pleasure.I remember so clearly the mess my family use to undergo due to my self hurting.I was anyways suffering physically and mentally,but my whole family that included my parents side and my in-laws were shaken up and were unable to perform the act of normalcy in their respective fields.My behaviour was very upsetting to them as they felt helpless in seeing their efforts going in vane.

In 2011 even GOD felt pity for my pain and my family sufferings and let a miracle happen in the disguise of my own willingness to fight my own mind and radiated me with strengths unlimited.My strength gave me the willpower to quit medicines and tackle my mind rationally.It wasn’t easy at all the first few months as I encountered memory blocks and had become like a new born baby.Basic chores like driving,cooking,being social and computer networking were a task to me in which I had to recheck again and again with my loved ones.I was confused between which was the actual me,the one that lived because of medicines or the one which is living without medicines.As time has it’s own ways of unfolding mysteries I was contented with the new me.My scars,some visible and some hidden had an option to undergo surgery and disappear,but I choose to keep them to remind me never to fall prey to my past mind.